The other day I was presenting bad news to a client and opened my presentation by saying “Don’t kill the messenger”. It suddenly got me thinking of the concept of a messenger and their (potentially punishable) contribution to the bad news.

Is a consultant really a messenger?

Is an influencer a messenger?

Is a lawyer a messenger?

Is a conflict resolution negotiator a messenger?

Is a scientist writing a paper that represents results of an experiment a messenger?

Naturally, we have to start with a definition. A messenger is someone who delivers messages among parties, which cannot communicate directly.

But someone blindly repeating a set of words from one party to another might be a high-quality messenger, but not too effective. A great messenger would be able to carry out a conversation with both parties that would allow the two parties to reach some sort of a workable compromise. That is the true art of the trade.

As soon as someone interprets facts in an inaccurate fashion that may or may not lead to additional conflict, we all reserve a right to hold that messenger accountable.

To me, a true messenger (that you don’t kill) is someone, who:

  • Passes information accurately, purposefully, and constructively,
  • Has no personal stake in the dialog
  • Drives the discussion towards a win-for-all resolution

Most real estate brokers are “sales agents”, meaning they are paid by a seller to ensure the seller gets the most out of the transaction. In Massachusetts a real estate broker is also allowed to be a “buyer/seller agent” meaning that they are paid by both parties and represent both interests. Does either designation make a given broker a messenger?

In my view, these designations are misleading. Both of the broker types can be true messengers if they accurately pass information between parties, don’t push for a transaction (where agents are paid a commission), and genuinely look for a fair deal.

And now, the question comes back. As a consultant presenting bad news to a customer, am I a messenger (protected from being killed) or not? In fact, in this very correspondence, am I a messenger or not?

The true judge here is you…

Sincerely,

Mikhail

Mikhail Papovsky
Founder and CEO | M A S S A R O